…too

…my entire body hurts, and i am covered in the saddest layer of loneliness-my upper spine gives an unapologetic ache, and my fingertips and wrist share its’ language- and the incontinence alone is unfair and dehumanizing-

i have recently cut back on carbs and sugar for the inflammation- prayerfully something will grant me mercy-but have you ever felt like no one and nothing can medically heal you, because no one cares enough to- as I’ve lost 120lbs, but my numbers still aren’t low enough to be acknowledged by most in the medical community-

i am lost and hopeless, but i am a mother- so i talk to God- and i love him with patience, amongst the billions of children who do the same-oh father- oh merciful father- i know there are more severe needs you must attend to- but when you find a moment, even after you rest; i beg of you to please sit beside me- to embrace me as i sleep- to lay your hands upon my spine and aching joints, and heal me …too-

i love you.

kb