…they understand too-

…my mind is always so deep- always- and believe it or not, it’s “very” exhausting- sometimes feeling somewhat depressive, simply being tired of traveling so far into this mental hemisphere-

it’s like seeing someone walking down the street, and staring into their soul wondering why they appear so down- then you become sad based on their appearance of sadness, and it’s a recycling stage of thought every single day-

but it’s the opposite also- smiling when you see someone smile- so ecstatic that joy has found them, even momentarily- so it finds you too, even momentarily- my mind is always on level 55.

so when i find someone online asking, “why is my mind so deep all the time”, it’s like ‘oh my, they get it too- they understand also’- and there’s this moment of belonging that comforts me- because it’s easy to drift into aloneness when you feel so very different. even suicidal tendencies- 😞. it’s so very lonely.

i wrote a poem once, somewhere on this platform, that says something like ‘i wish my thoughts would go play fetch and lose the ball in the largest of oceans, so I could have the mental silence while waiting for them to find it’- one of the most honest things ive said- because my thoughts are literally nonstop- movies pause them often, so i do enjoy the gift that actors give to us- thank you. what a calm you are. all of you.

just a momentary vent- someday my writings will find the souls they need to find- even if i am no more- thus is the beauty of words- they travel beyond you- my appreciation for you is pure- whoever you are- wherever you are- may you find a healing in my vulnerability- as i find a healing also in the extend-

truly i do.

kb ❤️